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Friday, October 06, 2006

Religion - The Revised Edition

This confused me:

Catholic experts are expected to advise Pope Benedict XVI that teachings on the state of limbo - somewhere between heaven and hell - should be amended.

Now, hang on a minute....how does that work? Those in the know in the Catholic world are, apparently, not keen on the bit in the Catholic teachings that says that dead babies float around in a fictional no man's land after rolling off the mortal coil, instead of trotting into a fictional heaven filled with angels and, presumably, all the rusks they can eat. So they decide to CHANGE it?

I really didn't think that's how religion worked. But I'm very excited to find that I was wrong. If it really is as simple as tippexing out the bits we find problematic, I've got several suggestions. What I'd like to see now is a rubbing out of the part about Eve and the snake in the Old Testament. Certainly it's convenient in a patriarchal society to be able to pin the blame for mankind's loss of innocence on us women, but let's face it, it's a rubbish story.

While we're at it, we could take a new look at the religiously-sanctioned enslavement and oppression of women across any number of faiths. Perhaps the Pope could see his way clear to granting Catholic women sole rights over their own bodies, for example. Or perhaps leaders of the Muslim faith could strop being so peculiarly fanatical in their endorsement of the cult of virginity. And let's face it, it's not like we don't need a handy solution to the irksome problem of women being stoned to death in public arenas.

Thinking about it, we could easily lose the notion of homosexuality being sinful as well (I'm sure plenty of Catholic priests will be with me on that one). The only thing sinful about homosexuality is, as far as I can see, the prices charged for bottled beer on Old Compton Street.

Easy. Religious harmony here we come.

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