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Thursday, October 19, 2006

Whatever happened here?


This McCartney stuff is riveting, isn’t it? There’s nothing quite so enjoyable as watching a person as smug as Paul McCartney being dragged through the gutter by a crazed money-grabbing fantasist. Particularly when the accusations being levelled are so hilariously erratic and left-of-centre: he got DRUNK, you say? He made you cook him DINNER? He objected to pots full of wee being stored under his marital bed? The crook! The scoundrel…


Quite why we’re expected to believe that the spoilt wife of a multimillionaire would be regularly found “crawling around on her hands and knees” when, I’m fairly sure, they could afford to adapt their home for disabled access, I really don’t know.


Deliciously, one of Heather’s top outraged complaints in her divorce petition (handily faxed to the two biggest news agencies in the world, well done) is that Old Queen McCartney refused to use his clout to blackmail people into pulling negative stories about her when they were married. Amazing, isn’t it, how quickly she appears to have lost her sensitivity now that the money’s on the table?


One thing was bugging me about the story though: jealousy, drunkenness, abuse of ageing wheelchair-bound harridans…why was this so familiar? Why did I feel like I had heard this story before?
Ah yes…


The movie turns to horror as Jane begins to grotesquely abuse Blanche. She tears out her buzzer and the phone cord. She then goes downstairs and calls the lawyer…She serves disgusting things, such as a dead rat, and gets a big kick out of Blanche's revulsion.
While Jane is away, Blanche goes to her room in her wheelchair. She finds a box of chocolates and devours them ravenously. She then sees where Jane has been practicing writing the signature Blanche Hudson and proof that Jane has written checks for cash in Blanche's name. Eventually, she crawls downstairs to call her doctor for help. Jane returns during the call. She then beats and kicks Blanche. Afterward, she calls back and, imitating Blanche's voice, tells the doctor that it was a mistake, that all is fine. She ties Blanche up in bed and begins to starve her to death.



Squint your eyes a moment and you really can’t tell them apart…

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