I’ve been trying to get my fuzzy and unwell mind around the absurdity of this story since yesterday evening, when I watched it break on the evening news, slackjawed in astonishment.
The longer I spend trying to think of something amusing, witty or at the very least cynical and withering to say about it, the harder it gets to come up with something funnier than the bare bones of the story itself in all its unremarked, unfettered glory.
So on that note, I'm just going to copy and paste this from the BBC News website. Remember, that’s the BBC News website, not The Onion, yes?
Payments totalling £750,000 will go to 197 prisoners and former inmates forced to stop taking drugs by going "cold turkey" in jail.
The damages, approved by a High Court judge, follow their claims that the practice amounted to an assault and breach of human rights.