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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Countryfile with Ian Brady

You could be forgiven for thinking that the latest series of ‘Celebrities Go Insane in the Jungle’, currently on our screens, marks the point of no return for popular culture. After all, it isn’t just the absolute epitome of bad taste telly, but is the clearest sign yet that celebrity - the very notion of it – is dead. Distorted beyond repair.

After all, this is a programme in which a pensionable inflato-breasted non-entity has been seen whipping the arse off another pudgy non-entity while he whimpers “Yes Mistress” at her in a suspiciously practiced manner (less than a week into the sordid little experiment); in which the image of an unknown ex-children’s television presenter pissing in the bushes is not only televised and cheerfully debated by an off-site audience, but is reprinted in the country’s biggest-selling daily newspaper; which features the crazed half-sister of the spouse of our country’s elected leader (the country’s leader, people) for no better reason than genetic accident, and in which (sweet lord) Liza Minelli’s terrifying, melted-rubber-faced ex-husband is THE MOST LIKEABLE PERSON ON THE SHOW.

You could be forgiven for thinking that.
You would, however, be wrong.

The final apolcalypse for popular culture – now postponed, you’ll be pleased to know – was to come in the form of an (unsurprisingly) Fox Broadcasting-generated vehicle for the ever-cuddly sportsman-turned-film-star-turned-psychotic-killer O J Simpson.

The working title, I kid you not, was “If I Did It”:


"The family of one of the victims in the OJ Simpson murder case have welcomed the decision to cancel a controversial TV interview with the former football legend. The infamous star had planned to describe "how he would have killed" Ron Goldman and his own ex-wife Nicole in 1995. News Corp, which owns both Fox and publisher HarperCollins, said the publication of OJ Simpson's book, If I Did It, had also been called off. Simpson was sensationally cleared of murdering Nicole and Mr Goldman in a case that gripped the world. However, he was later found liable for their deaths in a civil court."

Short of screening ‘Celebrity Supernanny’ with Myra Hindley, or installing Harold Shipman as the presenter of ‘City Hospital’, I really can’t see that there’s anything more offensive left to smear onto our screens.

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