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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

"A fat person in England isn't the same as a fat person in America”

Do you know, sometimes the extent of Mockney Oliver’s wisdom truly surprises.
Oh hang on, it doesn’t, does it…

Not content with patronising and insulting British parents, the teaching profession, people who don’t eat in Fifteen, people who don’t shop at Sainsbury’s (and everyone else left over who has ever had occasion to consume food), Mockney has now taken to lecturing US politicians on their country's impressive lard consumption.

Apparently, according to Jamie, America has something of an obesity problem due to all the fast food and Krispy Kremes that people there shovel into their faces while watching Oprah.
Fancy that! Americans! Fat!

"England's the most unhealthy country in Europe and America is the most unhealthy country in the world”, revealed Jamie breathlessly, with all the purpose and intelligence of an overly exciteable baboon scratching its own arse. (Not ACTUALLY true, but then, Mockney isn't ACTUALLY an authority on the subject, so that's alright.) He doesn’t stop at page one of his manifesto (working title, Stating the f**king obvious) though. Oh no.
Mockney has important advice to offer the hapless low-level politicians who’d been wheeled out to be photographed with the fat-tongued one, all of whom I’d bet were wearing “who in the hell told this greasy Essex boy he could touch me?” expressions throughout the junket.

“Oliver said U.S. politicians should "stop being so subservient" to "junk food companies" and that the country should cut down on junk and fatty foods, which would help reduce future health costs.”

Tell you what Jamie, you’re like a one man public service announcement, you really are.
Oh no, I mean a filthy, shameless one-man self-publicity machine, don’t I?

“Oliver's latest book "Jamie's Italy" was released in U.S. bookstores earlier this month and his television series "Jamie Oliver's Great Italian escape" will debut in the United States this month.”

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