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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Spot the Difference II

Oh, for the love of God. How clever this artist is – see, what he’s done is taken Karl Stieler’s extremely famous image of Ludwig van Beethoven, right, and simply superimposed it onto the body of an identically posed ‘modern day’ person, who appears to be wearing Top Gear’s James May’s Sunday outfit along with an extremely Eton schoolboy syrup.
Because, see, that’s how he’d look if he were alive today! Yes!
Or, maybe, no.
According to the wisdom of Gramophone magazine’s editorial department (who obviously thought about this long and hard, for about 12 minutes down the Rat & Parrot), “Beethoven's modern-day equivalent is U2 singer Bono”.

Of course it is. Of COURSE.

I mean, compare and contrast:

Ludwig van Beethoven:

Plays piano for an audience including Mozart as a child
Is widely recognised as a musical virtuoso by his teens
Studies music in Vienna with Joseph Haydn and Antonio Salieri among others
Begins to go deaf in his mid-20s, to no noticeable detriment to his musical talent or productivity
Is “…generally regarded as one of the greatest composers in the history of music, and was the predominant figure in the transitional period between the Classical and Romantic eras in Western classical music”

Paul Hewson:

Changes name to Bono, after a Grafton Street hearing aid shop (see, there’s a deaf connection)
Wears silly hat
Wears ridiculous sunglasses
The End

If this is the best that the magazine could come up with in its attempt to enrage the classical music world and garner itself some delicious 'at any cost' publicity, it's a hideously poor and pathetically transparently effort.


Andre said...

Bono is also a fucking midget. And even buzzards are jealous of his beak. And I am reliably informed he has a tiny tiny tiny penis.

Jo said...

Well, you know, I always suspected that Bono was one of our smaller brethren. I believe that it is entirely possible that you have a tiny, tiny point....!!!
But really, I don't care, 'cept when he gets compared to people who really are borderline genius. Know what I mean? There's a difference between being able to sing a half decent pop tune - for a limited period between 1979 and 1987 - and being a person who is so musically talented that he is still revered as a musical genius hundreds of years after his death....who was DEAF. You know? Well done, Mr Hewson Sir, but Beethoven you ain't.