Have a look at this: our nation’s children are so fat and greedy it’s almost comical!
They consume ‘more sweets and fizzy drinks than any others in Europe’, according to somesuch survey.
£128.40’s worth every year, in fact.
So far so blah. ‘Cept the clearly-bored minion who put this survey together has taken the time to break this figure down into a set of considerably more humorous and interesting statistics: this is apparently 'equivalent to 1,167 two-finger KitKat bars, or almost 400 Cadbury Creme Eggs'.
Allow me to repeat that: British kids eat 400 crème eggsworth of crap every year!
It’s a sign: it truly is scotch crème egg season. There’s a market out there…
And while we’re on the subject of wholesome nutrition, an organisation called CASH – Consensus Action on Salt and Health – whose entire existence appears to be discouraging people from eating salt in excess, has released figures explaining how much salt is too much salt, and where exactly one can find it.
I tell you what, it’s quite disturbing. Did you know, for example, that a bowl of CORNFLAKES contains virtually the same amount of salt as sea water? I kid you not:
‘Among the products with high levels of salt is a Sainsbury's product - Oat and Bran Flakes - with 2.4g of salt per 100g, compared with 2.5g of salt per 100g in Atlantic salt water.’
And while you get over that, it might interest you to know that Pepperami – those funny skinny little sausage sticks advertised by a disturbingly psychotic anthropomorphised salami character – contain 4g of salt per 100g. That’s 4g, compared to 2.5g in a gobful of sea water.
Best stick to the crème eggs.