Now, it might just be me, but I reckon old Felipe here sounds just the sort of boy you'd want to take out for a glass of port.
After having been hobbled by septic police (and having his peppermints confiscated!), then transported in a "filthy, foetid paddy wagon" to a police cell for eight hours, he still has a sense of humour suave enough to compare himself to a Rambo/Perry Mason hybrid.
Marvellous stuff, it really is:
'Distinguished historian Felipe Fernandez-Armesto tried to cross the road while in Atlanta for the conference of the American Historical Association, only to find himself in handcuffs and surrounded by armed police.
The bespectacled professor says he didn't realise the "rather intrusive young man" shouting that he shouldn't cross there was a policeman. "I thanked him for his advice and went on."
The officer asked for identification. The professor asked for his, (oh I'd love to have seen that) after which Officer Leonpacher told him he was under arrest and, the professor claims, kicked his legs from under him, pinned him to the ground and confiscated his box of peppermints.'
'...his colleagues now regard him as "as a combination of Rambo, because it took five cops to pin me to the ground, and Perry Mason, because my eloquence before a judge obtained my immediate release".'