I can genuinely see the headlines now: “Mancunian miserablist saves national pride”…
Morrissey has hinted his services may be on offer for the next Eurovision song contest, should the organisers be so kind as to ask.The former Smiths singer said he was "horrified" by the United Kingdom's latest poor result in the competition.
As a result of said trauma, Morrissey has been left troubled, with one issue in particular on his mind: "There is one question that I keep on asking: 'why didn't they ask me?' That question keeps going round my head."
Oh, isn’t it the stuff that dreams are made of?