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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Two for the price of One

Right, now hold on a minute. Madonna ‘baby snatcher’ Ciccone has been told she can adopt a second child from Malawi. Confusingly, you might think, given that the Malawian government have, as far as I am aware, still not authorised her first baby-raid in the country.

She is choosing to pick up another one, apparently, because she wants to give ‘a sister’ to the first Malawian baby she took a fancy to. In order to “redress the balance”.

What the fuck does that actually mean? Redress what balance?

Do you mean that as a white woman adopting a black child you need to ‘provide’ said child with another black sibling, by any chance? Of COURSE you do.

Because that’s going to do what, exactly? Fool both children into believing that you’re their parent rather than just a patronising white woman with a defunct biological clock and a penchant for cute piccanninies? Miraculously make them feel that they ‘fit in’ to your life socially and racially? Somehow bring about their instantaneous familial identification without you having to do any of the seriously hard work that being an adoptive parent - a proper adoptive parent - actually involves?

Now look, you should have paid closer attention, really. You don’t actually NEED to pick up a second child of the same race and background to chuck into your oh-so-modern multi-coloured menagerie. Oh no. Any non-white poverty-stricken urchin will do, Madonna love. Look at Angelina Jolie - she’s been out there performing her own one-woman game of global baby Monopoly for years.

“I’ve got two Cambodians, one African…. Let me see. Has anyone got any hotels - sorry, I mean orphanages - on India?”

‘MADONNA has been given the green light to adopt a second orphan from Malawi — a 13-month-old girl called Mercy.
She’s been told she can take the “smiling angel” as a sister to David Banda, her first child from the African nation.
It follows months of legal wrangling over the adoption of 22-month-old David.
And to ensure all goes smoothly this time, Madge, 49, has told her lawyer in Malawi, Alan Chinula, to “cover all legal bases” before she collects Mercy next April.
Madge insisted she wanted to adopt a sister for David “to redress the balance”. Officials asked her to view up to TEN girls before deciding.’

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