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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

And that’s why mums go to the Job Centre

And finally, some semblance of (albeit twisted and myopic) sanity has returned to the world of frozen vegetables.
I was beginning to think that the grotesque parody of a human being (sorry, I meant ‘Celebrity Mum of the Year’) that is Kerry Katona was going to actually have to smoke crack through a Heinz babyfood bottle, on Lorraine Kelly’s breakfast show, naked but for a couple of Iceland frozen sausage rolls strapped to her grotesquely inflated breasts and singing ‘My Way’ before she’d actually get the sack.

'Kerry Katona is reportedly being dropped from the Iceland television commercials because she is no longer seen as a model mother.
The 27-year-old former Atomic Kitten singer used to use the catchphrase "That's why mums go to Iceland" in the ads.
But Katona, who is expecting her fourth child this May, has been branded a poor role model after continuing to smoke while pregnant.
Iceland marketing director Nick Canning confirmed there would be less need for the former star in future TV commercials.
He told the Daily Mirror: "It is clear we have been hiring different staff including Jason Donovan and Coleen Nolan over Christmas.
"I'm not sure what contract we will be able to offer."
A source told the paper: "When Kerry was first hired she was perfect for the demographic of Iceland shoppers.
"But her reputation has gone before her, and she is no longer seen as the model mum she once was."
Katona's popularity with the public appears to be in decline.
She was voted the second worst celebrity mother in a poll in September, and was forced to deny being on drugs following an unusual appearance on GMTV in October.
In November, she was voted the most irritating individual in Britain.'

By the way, she isn't actually giving birth whilst Hello magazine capture the happy event for posterity (and cash), though it may look that way from the constipated expression in the picture. She's having the name of her latest offspring tattooed to the back of her neck. It's like the ASBO equivalent of a Christening. Bless.

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