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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Government drug pushers

Oh, and as for the government whacking another 11 pence on the price of a packet of cigarettes, thus effectively increasing the money they make from smokers, a group of people who they insist on treating as social lepers for indulging in their habit, well I for one see nothing hypocritical in that.

If they want to effectively ban people from smoking - essentially forcing them into quitting by preventing them from smoking except sneakily in their own homes (or, for those with children, guiltily out the window), then fine, go ahead and do it. It's a ridiculous habit that kills you. But you can't impose the most rigid anti-smoking legislation in Europe on people and then expect - in the same year - to make bucketloads of extra cash from the very same drug habit you so haughtily and publicly condemn.

Oh no, wait, you're the government. You can do what the hell you like.

Moving on!

Budgetary Bullshit

So, as a tokenistic 'worthy' gesture for this year's budget, the government has decreed that supermarkets are allowed to charge customers for the use of plastic bags.

How thoroughly decent of them.

Don't suppose anyone has bothered to point out to them how typically greedy and hypocritical it is of our nation's cuddly supermarkets to charge YET ANOTHER premium (along with the premium you're charged if, say, you like you buy fruit that has a chance of ripening before 2012) to its customers without doing a damn thing to improve its own environmentally and socially despicable behaviour?

Because, obviously, it is the ignorant customer's ignorant adoration of the mighty Asda bag that is the sole cause of environmental damage from throwaway plastics, and absolutely nothing at ALL to do with the supermarkets' continuing hateful habit of wrapping its food in grotesquely excessive and unnecessary packaging.

It's enough to make a person weep.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Mature thinking

Erm.... Jacqueline love, as one of the most popular children's authors in the country, who writes on subjects like children living in care, children with troubled tattooed mothers and children with dead mates that they talk to... do you not think there is something a WEE bit hypocritical in complaining that kids are maturing too quickly?

'Children's author Dame Jacqueline Wilson has expressed concern that youngsters are growing up too quickly.
"I think children act like adults at an alarmingly early age," said the Tracy Beaker creator.
"It's good that we want the best for our children nowadays, but perhaps we should remember they are only children and need a little loving guidance."
Her remarks came as a poll suggested that more than half of parents believe childhood is now over by 11.
The 62-year-old author, who has been writing for more than 35 years, said: "Nearly all the children in my books want to wear make-up and dye their hair and pierce their ears. Because I write in the first person people often assume that this is my point of view - but I'm actually pretty strict and old-fashioned.
"I know girls are desperate to look cool.
"But I wish they didn't all want to wear very high heels and inappropriately tight, trendy clothes."'

"Nearly all the children in my books want to wear make-up and die their hair and pierce their ears".

Hmmmm.... Wonder where our prematurely maturing pre-teens get the idea from?

Gullibility Goulash

Lovely story, this.

Man cons Americans into giving him work and money and fame by claiming to be a big mate of the Queen. Surely as old as the hills. Except this story is particularly hilarious for the sheer implausibility of the man's claim - among other things, he said that he had made Charles and Diana's wedding cake. At the age of 16.

The fun is not in the fact that the man is such an out and out fantasist (he liked to be known as "Sir Robert Irvine, Knight Commander of the Royal Victorian Order"), merely that he appears to have been given his own television show, his own kitchenware range and a lucrative publishing contract before anyone actually twigged. Splendid work.

'A British chef who reportedly invented his knighthood, gifts from the Queen and stints in the White House has been dropped by his US TV employers.
Cable channel Food Network says it will not be renewing the contract of TV chef Robert Irvine, from Wiltshire, because of "inaccuracies" in his CV.

Mr Irvine told a Florida newspaper he was "truly sorry" for the errors.
He said he had made up parts of his work history because he had felt under pressure "to keep up with the Joneses."

Mr Irvine, 42, is host of a popular US cooking show, Dinner: Impossible, where he and his team of chefs work against the clock to produce food in challenging circumstances.
He has also written an autobiography, Mission: Cook, published last year - as well as heading a company that sells his own-brand cookware.
He said there were five levels of knights, and KCVO is the highest level of knight you could be. The Queen handpicks you.

According to the St Petersburg Times a Florida socialite, Wendy LaTorre, recalled that when Mr Irvine arrived in Florida, he told her he had a castle in Scotland.
He reportedly also claimed to have cooked for US presidents in the White House, was a friend of Prince Charles and had been knighted by the Queen. He also apparently helped to make the cake for Prince Charles and Lady Diana's wedding.
"It was an English fruitcake that weighed over 360 pounds," he told the Toronto Sun. "I worked on these elaborate side panels, which told the history of the royal Windsor and Spencer families - in icing!"
When asked by Ms LaTorre how he would like to be introduced, Mr Irvine said he would like be known as "Sir Robert Irvine, Knight Commander of the Royal Victorian Order."
She told the St Petersburg Times: "He said there were five levels of knights, and KCVO is the highest level of knight you could be. The Queen handpicks you."

"Sir" Robert's impressive CV helped him secure wealthy backers for ambitious plans to open two upmarket restaurants in St Petersburg.
But, following his exposure in the local paper, the restaurants remain vacant and Mr Irvine's contract for a fifth season of his TV show has been cancelled.

Mr Irvine, originally from Salisbury in Wiltshire, admitted to the St Petersburg Times that he had had made up parts of his CV because of social pressure.
He said: "When I first came down there and I met people down there with all this money, it was like trying to keep up with the Joneses. I was sitting in a bar one night and that came out. It was stupid."'

Sunday, March 02, 2008

'If you think about it there's thousands of troops out there'

'Prince Harry insists, "I'm no hero".'

That is correct. Well done. Give the boy a lollypop.

Still, it's encouraging to see what young Harry can figure out all by himself when he "thinks about it".