Right. Well. While I've been too busy doing tedious things like working, it appears the world has gone even more fucking mental than ever.
While America celebrates it's own political events of historical significance (or if you're a newspaper journalist, revels in a never-before-seen event of monumentous, near-indescribable proportions that directly affects everyone on the face of the earth, as well as absolving the nation of its racist past, particularly the rather pesky murder of Martin Luther King, oh dear, I'm welling up), senior politicians in THIS country have been busily occupying themselves with similarly poignant and vital events of major national significance.
By this, I am of course talking about the random and entirely unexplained reference to the 'voting off' of a reality television programme singing contestant named Laura White (which apparently took place this week on a tedious 'reality' music programme on ITV called X Factor) by Andy Burnham. In the House of Commons.
No, really, I meant to put that: the Culture Secretary Andy Burnham gave a speech to the House of Commons about this programme, telling his bemused (and one can only hope, drunk) colleagues how sad he was that Ms White had failed in her quest to become a talentless music industry puppet. Sad, sad sad, he was. No, REALLY.
'Even the Culture Secretary, Andy Burnham, had something to say about the show in Parliament.
He said White, who lives in his constituency of Leigh in Greater Manchester, was "wonderful and talented" and the decision to axe her was "very harsh".'
An explanation for this absurd mockery of the democratic process is seemingly, if the BBC is anything to go by, deemed depressingly unnecessary.
Meanwhile, in other political news, the former (and formerly-respected) political journalist John Sergeant is apparently not doing very well in his bid to make cash as a cheap media whore by ballroom dancing badly on a BBC programme hosted by Bruce Forsyth, RIP (1807-1983).
Excuse me, I'm just off to boil my head in a vat of glue.